Six Secrets To Keeping Calm While Being Judged
“The road of life is rocky and you may stumble too. So while you point your fingers someone else is judging you.”~ Bob Marley
You know those moments when a random person, or even somebody you know, decides to bestow some unsocilited and highly annoying opinions on how you are (raising your kids, selecting your produce, picking your nose, etc…?) Does it make you want to deliver a swift kick to the crotch of said Judgy McJudgerson? Yeah, me too. I have to remember some very sound advice that my Reiki teacher gave to me during my quest to be less angry and more likely to restrain myself from delivering serveral crotch kicks during any given day. Here are my six (ancient Chinese) secrets to dealing with judgment and how to keep from wanting to inflict severe genital pain on those who pass it.
Use the method of implementing the six W’s to help in a situation where you may feel judged…
- WHOA! Do not react on emotions. Emotionally charged words and reactions are usually not well thought out. Take a few minutes to step away from the situation and think about it objectively.
- WHY? Ask yourself why. Behind every judgment is a reason. Is there a reason why this person is placing judgment? Usually a person who is quick to judge, is feeling guilty themselves or has personal issues that are causing negative feelings to surface and manifest in finding error in others. What is on the surface is usually just the tip of the emotional iceberg.
- WHO? Who is the person passing judgment? Remind yourself that he or she is imperfect, just as you are. Do not give any person the power to judge you based on your personal beliefs. They are not your god and unless you are standing in a courtroom in front of a judge, you are not to be judged.
- WHAT? What is the truth? Does the person placing judgment make any good points? Is there anything that you can take away from the experience? If not, remind yourself of what you know to be true. We can all learn something for every situation, even the negative ones.
- WISDOM. After using the first four W’s to assess the situation, offer some wisdom to the person who placed judgment, in a positive manner. Acknowledge their right to offer an opinion. Verbally respect their difference of opinion or kindly refuse their judgment by standing firm in your own belief. Remind them that diversity is what makes our human race an amazing one. Remember that you do not have to argue your point, defend yourself or resort to ugly behavior.
- WALK. Leave the conversation, or experience on a positive note and knowing that you handled it in a constructive manner. Do not entertain negativity and ongoing debates about who was right or wrong. This is not good use of your time and can wreak havoc on inner peace. When it comes to opinions, there is no black and white, but a whole brilliant spectrum. Let’s learn to respect that.
My life has been far more peaceful and my foot far less sore since learning to practice these tips.
Try them the next time you get the urge to go all Bruce Lee on somebody for telling you that your squash should be steamed insead of boiled, or whatever the annoyance may be. You are welcome, grasshopper!
Disclosure: On occasion, contributors of The Trend Tribe receive products, compensation and/or services gratis or at discounted rates. This practice does not influence the contributor’s point of view or the outcome of the review. All descriptions are factual and accurately reflect the reviewers experience. The opinions are their own. Photos credit: Unknown.